One Last Thought

Each time I have ended one of my books, I’ve had the same mixed feelings. On one side, of course, I am overwhelmed with joy, but on the other, it is very hard for me to let go, and as I write the last final words, I begin to cry inconsolably.
     On my book “From Bogotá to Madrid to Jerusalem “, I wrote a long parallel metaphor about a bird, who thought it had to learn how to swim instead of to fly. As I slowly led it from the dark ocean waters to the blue of the sky, and set it free … I could not stop crying. It flew away, after being five years next to my side. And it was hard for me to let it go.
     My novel…oh my first novel! How I enjoyed my years sitting next to Faigel! How much she taught me…about myself. Her strength gave me strength and her dreams made me dream. If the challenges she encountered didn’t make her give up, if she always looked ahead… then I must look forward and overcome mine. She became my friend, my mentor, my role model, someone I can look up to and try to emulate. And now, after ten long years of sharing so much with each other …it’s over. I had to say goodbye. And, oh! How I cried on that last moment, when I wrote the words, The End.
     So now dear reader, here I present them all to you. Go ahead and read my memoire, and help my beautiful dove learn to fly. Read my novel…again a bird…this time an eagle! What is it with me and birds? You know, it’s perhaps that moment… just before sunset…
     I like to pray the afternoon prayer called Mincha on my balcony facing the Judean hills. And then I take time to say my psalms, tehillim , which I try to read every day. Well, it’s just at that moment, when the days starts to close, when I see birds flying hurriedly, many in groups, others alone, as if to reach their special place just before it’s too dark. Have you ever noticed this? I love that moment. I always wonder, what are they thinking? Oh! Don’t mind me! Just a silly thought. But …if you have a chance, try to observe this magical moment, and let me know what you feel they are thinking during their time of hurriedness. Because I would really like to know.
     So do write to me, for I remain here, in my Jerusalem, waiting to hear from you.

Chaya Diane